Nearly 5k

His footfalls are regular

They echo mine

I hear his breathing

It echoes my own

Audible

not heavy

Our hearts pump in unison

Hot blood

Bodies pulsing

as they did so long ago

He's tall

seems taller;

his long-muscled legs

pound

in time with mine

He glances at me,

a checking-out kind of smile

a gentle enquiry

“You ok?

“Nearly 5k.”

Somewhere

behind distant memories

a bell chimes

The same question

resurrected

from the sweetest time

of wonder and surrender

when my body was his

and his

was mine

“You ok?”

Knees drawn up,

Breathing,

Braced against

the unknown,

ready to exert, endure, expel

unready

for the risky ride

imposed without consent

from within

“You ok?”

The release of

a cord; thick,

tight around his neck;

the putty-grey baby,

unopening eyes

whisked away

confusion and whispers

“What about him?”

“Tell me.”

“You ok?”

Waiting

Suffering

incalculable moments

accumulating eternities

of dread.

Silent pleadings

and desperate negotiations;

the alternative common prayer book

of the helpless

“You ok?”

More than.

Ridiculously astonished;

profoundly grateful

that

Thirty years on,

our two hearts

are running in rhythm

beating as one

feeling the life.